Moms Doing Bad Things
As we grow older and become the foul thing we never thought we’d be…the “Adult”, we also get to know our parents as people, rather than monoliths of discipline, comfort and stability. They become “people.” The first time my mom ever dropped an F bomb within earshot was a shock for me. Some folks are f this and f that and have a “do as I say, not as I do” mentality, my parents were not this sort. I remember getting in trouble for saying “Cop” instead of “Police officer.” So, hearing my mom utter the unholiest of profanities wasn’t just awkward, it was utterly surreal.
Now I’m on the other side of it. My babe is a bit young for me to necessarily shield her from the profanity (of which I don’t partake much, anyhow, thanks to my parents,) but now I worry about the things she sees me do. For instance, if I scratch my butt, is she watching and thinking about how great that looks? Perhaps she’d appreciate a good butt scratchin’? If I clean my teeth with my pinky nail? Pick my nose? 5-second rule on food? Do I have to guard my every action and think my little mimic will shame herself through copying?
Forget actions, what about my opinions? I’m a pretty hardcore liberal with loud opinions on politics (many of which are backed by rhetoric rather than fact.) I want her to have her own opinions. Will she? Or is she just going to do what I’m going to do? On some level, I’d like us to think the same way. I’d love to discuss art and music with my little human. What if she hates art? What if she listens to crappy new pop that I can’t possibly enjoy? Okay, that last part is almost inevitable.
On some levels, my new relationship with my mom is better. It’s more pure. Without the mom filter, I can get to know her on a more personal level, as a human being and not a “mom”. But, as a human, she’s not immortal anymore, either. Nor is she infallable. She can give me advice, but now I’ve got my own opinions on things. Does she see me as her baby, still? Will I look at gwen in 30 years and still see the tiny infant that was?
I guess we won’t know until 2045. If perchance I’m still updating this blog by then, I’ll let you know.