How much do I love you?

Do you want to know how much I love you? 

I’d tell you, but I’m bent over the toilet now, losing my breakfast for the second time.

Can I tell you how much I love you?

I wish I could, but I’m crying again because of a sad commercial I remembered from years ago.

Would you like to hear how much I love you?

I’ll tell you – right after I refuse to eat these holiday treats – I can’t have too much sugar – it’s bad for you.

Do you know how much I love you?

Let me inject some more insulin and I’ll tell you in just a moment.

So how much do I love you?

I gave up coffee. Coffee.

That’s how much I love you.

More than coffee. 

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